Bibi Gives A Shit

Donald Trump seriously wants to rename Lake Ontario to Lake America. And Google seriously adopted that change in their maps. I am seriously thinking about renaming my blog into Bibi gives a Donald or Bibi gives a Google.

I am in Berlin, and as I can see, there is some kind of a hooman election going on. Unfortunately, there don’t seem to be any doggo candidates, but even so, this is the one instance in which giving a shit is not an option. Go give a shit. Just not on nazis. They stink like one.

I have to admit to something: there are days when giving a shit is harder than usual. With circumstances beyond our control, we can feel stuck. I know I do. And then you have two choices: give up or push through. Or as one Ralph Ransom put it “Before the reward, there must be labor. You plant before you harvest. You sow in tears before you reap joy”. Don’t let constipation win. Give that shit.

Benjamin Franklin said that early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. I say that late out of pooch bed and early to pooch bed makes a doggo healthy, happy and give a shice.

I’m in Ostfriesland, which is probably the closest empirical encounter of the concept of nothingness. Speaking of nothingness, many doggos and hoomans might be scared of death, but don’t be: if there’s death, then there’s no you. And if there’s you, then there’s no death. Why would two sets that are completely distinct and can never meet be afraid of each other? Or in other words: the entirety of a chew stick can either exist in an indigested or digested form. But the indigested and digested forms can never coexist. So just chill and give a shit as long as you live.

Been to probably one of the most modern and progressive cities in the world. So weird not to listen to car noises when pooping in the city center. Pity, that all local businesses went bankrupt because no cars were allowed anymore in the city, the acceptance of restricted car traffic amongst the locals is very low and the air is also not significantly getting better due to fewer cars. But oh no! Turns out businesses yield even higher revenue, around 70℅ of Utrecht residents support the measures and air quality has improved by 40℅. Well, the perfect traffic policy would be doggos first, of course, but I think Utrecht did a great job. In peace, safety and silence, I was able to give a shit about the whining of car drivers.

Confucius once said that it does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. It is totally fine though to stop in order to give a shit.

Machiavelli once said: “It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both”. But what is best, of course, is to give a shit about Machiavelli (and be loved and cuddled).

Been to Oxford and had a chat with my buddies Johnny Locke, Tommy Hobbes, Mary Midgley and, of course, Jeremiah Bentham. Had lots of fun and they were astonished and delighted by my manuscript. Waiting now for a call from the Oxford University Press to publish my ideas of giving a shit.

It feels a bit like autumn here. Were I not the preacher of happiness, I’d probably get scared of the winter blues to come. But I am not, because the best antidepressant is giving a shit.